Solar Exposure

[zorcas]

Why write glowingly
of the sun’s
rising and setting
as if that fiery orb
arrives with blessings
of light and warmth
then shyly leaves us
a cool night’s sleep
before its next
appearance?
 
Why flatter this
burning malevolence
which would have
destroyed us
had not the world
aware of its
mindless scorching
decided the sun
might have its place
but not in our lives?
 
Only earth’s instincts
spared us a planet
whose halves
might have been
a red furnace
and
blue white ice.
 
But the sun
 neither rises nor sets.
Instead it shines
for a time
before being
shouldered away
to warm and brighten
those farther
around the curve.
 
Mankind’s
good fortune
was habitable David
outfoxing
 incinerator Goliath
by assuring the world turns
so little freezes or burns.
 
Rid of romantic notions
about sunrise and sunset
should we not love
our dawn and dusk
for what they really are?

In terms of a line by line, I won't as I feel you get across meaningfully enough what you want to say. Could you rewrite and improve some lines when read aloud? Perhaps... But my main feeling reading this is that I'm being told something, rather than pushed into thought about something. Nothing wrong with that, but with this particular subject, the poem needs to be more thought provoking, less direct (unless there is something I am really missing!).

I mean, do you take this poem's message as Gospel? Or have you just written as such? I think you are addressing a subject that cannot be certified by anyone- the sun's warmth and blessing for example, really is actually what keeps us alive... And has the earth's "instincts" spared us?Is the case with every planet? I do not think so- the sun is the centre of it all, hence the obsession and romanticism of it that you mention. The earth as such, does not outfox the sun... it is compelled to spin by external forces. But not going into science

An easy read, but maybe more questions asked or thoughts provoked could improve it.

RBJ

Good points. This was done as a contrarian brain jiggler but it does seem that poetry, at least these days, has to have a certain graivitas  to be acceptable. Would modify the thing if there were a venue for it, but thanks for the thoughts which are very useful otherwise.