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Coquette16 · 01-03-2017, 06:44 AM

Mark,
The reactions and critiques to my poem below had such varied responses that I found it difficult to edit.

I was wondering if you could take a peek at the edited version below...it is edited quite a bit, but hopefully doesn't lose it's imagery for the sake of cohesion.

Thanks!
Coquette

 HERE AGAIN
How am I here again?
Embers burn in
the coolness of my breast

This place unearthed
from my center;
Melt and bend
my pillar of faith

I am taken,
once again
to the grave
and I weep like a willow.

Tears extinguishing the embers,
I take root in the ashes--
again

(12-28-2016, 06:51 AM)Mark Cecil Wrote: Lots of great imagery creating here that sticks in the brain

(11-24-2016, 10:07 AM)Coquette16 Wrote: How am I here again?
To the place where fire
burns from cold, ashen embers I like the image that heat or warmth here symbolises life and activity which is further emphasised in the next stanza

As unexpected as a bolt of lightning;
Electrifying
what has gone to the grave This line about the grave confuses me a bit but also intrigues - does it refer to the things you have let go but come back as a bolt of lightning?

Unearthed from beneath
a current of questions,
of possibilities,
of melting and bending
faith’s pillar Perhaps my favourite stanza of the whole poem a lot of naturalistic imagery to a very human problem

All, for what?
For torture of the soul?
Self-pity?
For weeping as a willow
reaches downward
to meet the earth?
For floundering as a fish
searching in circles? Love the image of willow and fish to very strong images

Back to where I began.
How am I here again? Strong ending

**Thanks for reading/critiquing!**

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