02-11-2017, 12:15 AM
Thank you for your input. I changed it a bit, please give it a read
(02-10-2017, 12:53 PM)CRNDLSM Wrote: Well, it seems you're stuck on the interjection. Exclaiming 'jesus!' Is a pretty common reaxtion, it can also have negative context and exasperation, you were right to change it, but 'and how' sound like an infomercial. I would like to offer suggestions, like why a word at all? Symbols representing, maybe an obscure foreign language, it's a good piece!