Innocence returning (Edit 1)

[Vanity]

Hi!

so...I really like this. The title intrigued me and i was rewarded. (-;
For myself, i really appreciate a rhythm when i read, instead of rhyme-iness..and in your poem, i feel the beat.

I feel the strongest parts are the first three stanzas. There lies its strength, in setting the mood. Feeling, not telling.

Favorite line: 'gently i place an arm around the confusion.' Perfectly illustrates a sense of trying to handle things, gently..with an economy of words...and a nice image, to boot.

i feel like the last two stanzas with diologue, pull me out of the poem a little. its only opinion....but you could end the poem with that 'like ghosts into field mist' third stanza, and have a nice poem indeed...ending on an image, too.

also, i read through and considered--what about dropping the fourth stanza, but leaving the last one, the last four lines? I think theres a lot of information and feeling in just those last four lines. Ending with that would have a kind of 'punch' i think.
So - hope a few of these suggested edits or ways to 'play around with it' are useful.
Very nice, indeed.

Good luck,
Vanity