02-27-2017, 05:03 AM
I think your unconventional use of punctuation in some parts of this poem are really interesting and contribute to both the sound and the tone of the poem, almost as if the speaker is hesitating occasionally. Perhaps, to earlier incorporate the fireworks motif, you could mention the New Year fireworks toward the beginning (since you mention the start of the year). Also, maybe you could consider adding a few lines to give meaning to the colors red, green and gold. What does each color represent about the characters in the poem and their relationship?