Pops

[Todd]

Hi Weeded given the forum let me just give you a few general comments to think about. 

I think the first possible issue is that your title may not be doing enough work for you. While it does work with Fathers/Sons, the recruiter, the issues with being a father, a different title might allow you to play with the overall structure a bit more. It might give you more freedom.

Edit 1

As a kid--Just an observation this "As a kid" and the earlier "I grew up poor" are probably not needed. This would probably be stronger as just "I played baseball without a glove" Maybe add one other image for going without and poverty as a simple statement and move to the next strophe.
I played baseball without a glove,
I built my house--Again nothing wrong with this next set of statements but you may want to separate them from the baseball one just to make each area deal with a different aspect. You may want to consider making the poem a sequence of two line couplets. Just a thought.
with Father from wood 
cut from the oak.

I grew up quick,
fell in love quicker,--I think you can introduce the wife better than this. Some defining statement like you use in the first strophe--not simply an emotional feeling without a context.
found work at a toy store,
six months and I quit.

I do's, signed away life.
Recruiter said son you're great.
Saying son never felt right.

Vacation turned tragedy,
haunted by loss,
wife couldn't cope- antidepressants
left her alone.

Car crash halfed my sight,
I cover it with a patch
I got from a dollar store.

Military don't care about you,
they say son go here
knowing damn well I can't.

Thirteen years half blind
struggling to find the way,
this house I built without Father
did nothing but deteriorate

sure it's a pretty home;
corner of remembrance,
crosses on the wall,
but the foundation's spent
years hiding what's wrong.

Today I leave my wife
my kids, my life,
to try to see
what's behind the blind eye.

[i]Original

I grew up poor,
played baseball without a glove,
I built my house
with Father with wood cut
from the oak next door.

Our backyard was a jungle
of essentials, apples to aloe
Mama could cook
long as the fruit hung low.

I grew up quick,
found work at a toy store,
fell in love even quicker,
six months and I quit.

Military bound after wedding vows,
I learned I'm a genius
that couldn't raise kids.

Car crash halfed my sight,
haunted by a lost son,
wife couldn't cope- antidepressants
leave her alone.

Military don't care about you,
I learned on a transfer
to a job I couldn't do.

Thirteen years half blind
struggling to find the way,
this house I built without Father
did nothing but deteriorate.

Today I left my wife
my kids, my life,
to try to see
what's behind the blind eye.[/i]

I don't want to overdo it in the forum. A lot of my further comments would just repeat what I've already said. I do think you have something here. I hope the comments help some.

Best,

Todd