Autumn

[tommyb]

First, opening with "you" and then not developing who "you" is weakens the poem. Is it the reader, a friend, a parent, or is the narrator speaking of him/herself? 

I would love to see a return to "you", whoever that is, in the final few lines of the poem. It might be nice to introduce the character, then withdraw into the imagery, then bring them back again when they are almost forgotten.

Keep up the good work.