03-16-2017, 07:16 AM
Hi, ben, for me this was too talky. I'd like to read something that expresses your chain of thought that brings me along a path to your conclusion without you saying it outright. I don't mean that the poem should be vague, just that you could give me examples that I could put together. SHow me the mind, the heart.
In particular the soulmate thing at the end is, to me, sappy and cliche.
I'm not suggesting you give up on it, you know what you want to say. Possibly the strophe starting with The heart is a kickstart could be something to build on. Good luck with it.
In particular the soulmate thing at the end is, to me, sappy and cliche.
I'm not suggesting you give up on it, you know what you want to say. Possibly the strophe starting with The heart is a kickstart could be something to build on. Good luck with it.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips