03-24-2017, 07:20 AM 
	
	
	
		Thanks for your thoughts, Todd.
I really like the first stanza, I wanted the "ten shins" thing to be an image representing "tensions", but I don't know if that idea translates.
I agree with your thoughts on the second stanza, I'll try and fix that, and I'll fix the typo right away.
	
	
	
I really like the first stanza, I wanted the "ten shins" thing to be an image representing "tensions", but I don't know if that idea translates.
I agree with your thoughts on the second stanza, I'll try and fix that, and I'll fix the typo right away.

 

 
