03-26-2017, 12:01 AM
If I'm reading it properly (new to critiquing, so apologies if I'm not) I like what your poem is communicating - the seeming unemotionality/logic of the mind and the free flow/spontaneity of the heart. It does seem like this idea could have been condensed somewhat, as it got lost for me when it seemed like maybe you were over-explaining the idea. If it were be, I'd take some of that wordy-ness out from the top-middle of the poem, and put a bit more into the connection between this concept and how it relates to the soulmate.