Autumn

[Elizazile]

I like the imagery you are creating here! I do feel like some of the rhyming feels forced (as in the 'cupboard' line but also kind of throughout, such as the 'you know this is no show' line which felt weak to me/did not contribute to the sentiment of the poem but seemed to be there merely to set up a rhyme).  I think some of these instances are actually a bit distracting and detract rather than add. I guess I would suggest going back through the poem and seeing which individual lines do and don't contribute to the message, being willing to take lines our or replace them with ones that paint the image you want to paint, while being willing to lose some of the rhymes.

This is my first poem, and only the six I've ever written. I think poetry is a great way to put into words many of the thoughts, feelings and emotions I experience. Just writing them down, in an article, is not for me.

You love to walk in the forest,
The autumn forest.
To see the place ablaze
Filled with an autumn haze.
You know this is no show
That soon there will be snow.
And all this will with white be covered
Just like my old mother’s cupboard,
You love to spend your time a-gazing.
At each one of all the amazing,
Trees in autumn colours blazing
Turning the place into an amazing
show that leaves you dazzled
Hearing the birds razzled
Seeing the leaves falling.
Hearing the owl’s calling
You love to see the autumn sun
To know the summer heat is done.
To sense the fragrant delight
Of an autumn twilight.
But now the sun is gone
Shimmering stars shine bright
So now goodnight
Dream of autumn delights.