Water and Sky (Thread Closed)

[C.los]

Very nice! I would suggest working with the flow a bit more. Taking out and maybe adding words so that it sounds better when you read it. Lines one and 2 for example sound a bit off...  

Hi, I would love to hear some feedback about my poem. Thanks. 

Water and Sky

Once I stood on the top of a tide. Once I stood on top of a tide
Since I was so high, it seemed fine to shut my eyes. I was so high, so I shut my eyes (just an opinion)

Then I reached out my hand to touch the sky.  
Air slipped through my fingers, so I opened my eyes. 

I glanced below, and saw no tide.
I was cornered by shallow water on every side. 

From now on, I will not shut my eyes.
I look for deep waters, but don’t know where they lie.