Beetle Wife

[nibbed]

Hi wordgobbler, this poem is very abstract to me.
It's like it has many pieces, but they don't fit
together in any set order, sort of like a Picasso?


beetle wife. smash her with thumbs and                               she is small and frail, easily crushed with just a thumb
watch red ooze onto the skin. lick it off                                 I'm trying to grasp "whose?" perspective
if you want, tastes like summer.                                            Not sure if the narrator is witness or the assailant
antennas burned, shrinking like matchsticks                          what do the antennas represent?
wings ripped off and blown away with breath                        freedom painfully taken away

I am reminded of the meat market, plastic                            why meat market? plastic can be really bad
baskets full of raw meat bathed in blood                                important metaphor/reminder?
the silence sprawls across us / my mouth is stunned             us? whose mouth is stunned?


you seem to hold many wonderful phrases here
"shrinking like matchsticks", very visual stuff.
I think you were looking for words to represent
an idea or generality concerning assault,
and it almost achieved that, but with a little sharpening
I believe it can be a nice little poem.

Best wishes and THANK YOU for the opportunity
to critique.