cherished

[Richard]

Hey Janine,
I found this to be a moving piece, and this is coming from someone who isn't a big believer in "the One." I'll go into greater detail below:

Hey, friend -I found that this first line makes the poem almost sounds like a letter. Was that intentional? I would suggest dropping this line and add an "it's" to the next line. It would then read "It's best not". However, that's just my opinion on the wording, and there really isn't anything wrong with the way you worded it.
best not
to painfully watch.

I'm really not as poor
as the bits of hamburger
thrown in a piranha tank; -I like the imagery in this stanza. It gives me the impression that the speaker is sick and dying from a terrible disease (cancer?).

You see, I know
my end will really be
my beginning, -This is the paradox of the afterlife summed up.

unlike the souls of men
who painfully suffer -"painfully suffer" is a bit repetitive
never having been
cherished in this world
as they should have been. -The last three lines in this stanza just make me sad, which is a good thing because that is what they're supposed to do.

They almost -Just a question, but why "almost"?
cannot comprehend the One
who holds back the flooding tides,

He who spins the Earth,
and nurses the galaxies
in His palm -I really like last two lines in this stanza. It creates an interesting image in my mind.

might just be
truly truly -I think you only need one "truly" here.
in love with them.

I find it interesting that the speaker goes from describing their own physical death to reflecting on others who are spiritually dead. I think this is a strong piece that just needs some minor tweaks, and I look forward to seeing where you take this from here.

Cheers,
Richard