05-22-2017, 01:36 PM
"I drink whiskey 'til I pass out in a gutter." doesn't fit.
maybe
"I drink whiskey and stumble up my steps."
or something else matching the mood of the piece.
And I'd change:
"I play guitar for a crowd
of voices in my head,
and wish I could sing."
to just:
"I play guitar for a crowd
of voices in my head."
But it's quite wonderful no matter which one it is (as well as the poem).
maybe
"I drink whiskey and stumble up my steps."
or something else matching the mood of the piece.
And I'd change:
"I play guitar for a crowd
of voices in my head,
and wish I could sing."
to just:
"I play guitar for a crowd
of voices in my head."
But it's quite wonderful no matter which one it is (as well as the poem).
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions