misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit)

misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit)

Achebe Offline

The Fourth Stooge

Posts: 580
Threads: 71
Joined: Oct 2015

05-23-2017, 07:33 PM

"Tempt" is weak. The word itself is ugly. I have a slight stammer and find it too lippy.
Also, L2 feels overly long
How about:

Early showers:
earthworms, lilacs
burst.

~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe

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Messages In This Thread

misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-20-2017, 07:08 PM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray - by rayheinrich - 05-21-2017, 06:21 PM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray - by Lizzie - 05-23-2017, 03:24 PM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray - by Achebe - 05-23-2017, 07:33 PM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray - by ellajam - 05-23-2017, 09:12 PM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray - by Lizzie - 05-24-2017, 02:56 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray - by ellajam - 05-24-2017, 03:13 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray - by Lizzie - 05-24-2017, 03:26 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray - by ellajam - 05-24-2017, 03:31 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by LunaDeLore - 05-24-2017, 12:09 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-24-2017, 01:08 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by Achebe - 05-24-2017, 01:11 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-24-2017, 01:27 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by rayheinrich - 05-24-2017, 05:29 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by Achebe - 05-24-2017, 07:37 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-24-2017, 06:42 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by rayheinrich - 05-24-2017, 07:02 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-24-2017, 07:33 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by Lizzie - 05-24-2017, 10:50 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-24-2017, 09:57 PM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by Lizzie - 05-25-2017, 12:28 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by milo - 05-25-2017, 12:46 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-25-2017, 01:46 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by milo - 05-25-2017, 01:51 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-25-2017, 02:05 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by rayheinrich - 05-25-2017, 07:02 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by milo - 05-25-2017, 07:18 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by rayheinrich - 05-25-2017, 08:10 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-25-2017, 08:16 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by milo - 05-25-2017, 10:35 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by rayheinrich - 05-25-2017, 12:37 PM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-25-2017, 08:11 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by just mercedes - 05-25-2017, 03:58 PM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by rayheinrich - 05-25-2017, 06:50 PM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by milo - 05-25-2017, 08:17 PM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-25-2017, 08:22 PM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by rayheinrich - 05-25-2017, 11:30 PM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-26-2017, 12:10 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by rayheinrich - 05-26-2017, 03:02 AM

RE: misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit) - by ellajam - 05-25-2017, 07:48 PM

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