05-24-2017, 09:57 PM
(05-24-2017, 07:37 AM)Achebe Wrote:Never worry about sounding wankerish on one of my threads, makes me feel at home. >(05-24-2017, 05:29 AM)rayheinrich Wrote: Earthworms don't really want to leave the earth, as that's how they remain safe from birds etc.I thought of pointing that out too....but it sounded wankerish in my head...ha!
But they drown in water, so they must. It's more like the shower 'forces' or 'drives' or even 'floods' them.
(Though 'lure' does imply a destination better than the others.)
"Oblige"/"obligate", while not working, would be SO Japanese.
"Early showers lure earthworms" and "early shower lures earthworms"...
It's the latter, hands down, because haiku is about specificity, immediacy, capturing a moment,
the zen aspect of living/being/existing in the present, as the past and future are illusion.
Also, in that vein, addressing a single earthworm would come closer to invoking that ideal.
Inferred remembrance:
Ok, how about
Early showers
prise earthworms
lilacs burst
< Prise is a word I never use, I'm having trouble with it.
(05-24-2017, 10:50 AM)Lizzie Wrote:I thought you'd like the action.(05-24-2017, 06:42 AM)ellajam Wrote: Thanks ray, I originally thought of earthworms rising but couldn't tie it together.
an early shower
obliges the earthworm to rise
the lilac to burst.
maybe
Any opinion on the earthworm/lilac or an/a?
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