misplaced summer Day in May for Ray (edit)

[rayheinrich]

lilacs burst
earthworms rise ~
an early shower

yep, pretty close to perfect

I agree. The rearrangement allows us to experience 2 events and then a cut to the connection. Subtle change but completely different.

Yep, I had moved shower down one slot, hadn't shuffled it down there. I love this site, the swoop and kill.

    Though I think it only fair that we tie both of mercedes hands behind her back and blindfold her;
    give the rest of us a chance... oh, she'd probably just get better, creative constraint and all.