06-10-2017, 08:18 AM 
	
	
	
		Newbie here, so don't take my advice too seriously. I loved it, but I wasn't fond of you ending the first two stanzas with the same two words, it didn't flow too well. I also don't think all the stanzas rhymed too well. Awesome job, keep writing.
	
	
	
	

