Thoughts for the Fourth of July

[The Four-Eyed Cat]

Great poem! I love the grim atmosphere you set off here, almost foreboding and prophesizing.

Thoughts for the Forth of July

We created a Leviathan to defend our Freedom. 
An ugly brute, powerful, but clumsy.                                                 Clumsy kinda softens the image of the fearful leviathan - perhaps go for a stronger word?
We gave it some of our Freedom,                                                     Interesting, Are you referring here to the NSA and other acts that diminish liberty?              
to secure our security,
and those Freedoms that remained.                                                  Repetitive use of Freedom, was it your intention? Freedom is a strong word, but so is liberty!
This parasitic relationship worked well...
for a time.

As Generations passed,
we forgot what an ugly brute
our Leviathan was.
We began to think its ugliness,
beauty.

We called it Mother,
and it consumed us.                                                                        Since you describe the Leviathan as mother in the previous line, perhaps go for 'She' in the last sentence


–Erthona


©1999

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