That wave of silence

[joecarey123]

Hiya 67 - thanks for sharing this, it certainly is interesting and there's some evocative language in here. However, bits and bobs don't seem to quite 'fit' for me - maybe you can help me explain. 

THAT WAVE OF SILENCE

So we hid ourselves in a bush.
There's no way I'll be driving.
Have you seen the size of that tush?
I was held in by Dr. Bloom.
Across the crescent shaped room,
Early exchanges are thriving.    Apart from the last two lines, this stanza seems a bit random and not quite cohesive. 

With only the rays of dawn cast upon it,
Everything the room holds becomes more clear:
Empty space reveals buoyant specks of grime,      I'm not sure buoyant is the word here - doesn't quite make sense with grime, even as a contrast. 
The carpet awakens ancient fits of vomit,              Love the language here. 
And the shelves expose concealed cans of beer
Whose neglected leaks drenched lost items.         
The lives seem varied. Yet from hijab to bonnet
They all look ahead and they all lack fear,
Bearing only a fraction more time.
Minute by minute the room lightens.

But with a steady crank of the door handle,
The goose bump wind which its opening brought         The tense seems to be confused here - is it present or past?
Causes all heads to fixate on one man, who looks          The tense is now present, as with the rest of the poem. 
A day away from blowing sixty candles.
So to avoid their discrete ways from being caught,        Is "from" the correct word here, rather than "of"?
All of them ride that wave of conscious silence.
In an attempt to retrieve noise, the man dandles. 
Forced sniggers greet the act. That failed, he must have thought.
At the sight of this act, the males repress right hooks.
So he parts, too aware of the threat of violence.            A good ending which emphasises the bleak, quite bitter atmosphere. 

Overall, a great set of images, but not quite sure they always glue together. 

Thanks again for sharing!