Water and Sky (Thread Closed)

[Radetof.Yahska]

Water and Sky

Once I stood on the top of a tide. 
Since I was so high, it seemed fine to shut my eyes.          

Then I reached out my hand to touch the sky.                     <'my hand' is unnecessary>
Air slipped through my fingers, so I opened my eyes.        

I glanced below, and saw no tide.                             
I was cornered by shallow water on every side.          

From now on, I will not shut my eyes.                        
I look for deep waters, but don’t know where they lie.           <...search for deep waters, not knowing...>
 

The idea is nice, but you must surely understand the contextual baggage attached to deep water. The idea behind the poem, while nice, gets obfuscated with the third stanza, and while I cannot make it all out, it would be interesting to explore it. Also, to add on to what rowens said, this poem is an end-in-itself, leaving me with no urge to reflect. Some weight, or degree of ambiguity as to the nature of the end would probably help it sink in my head.

Good one, though! Look forward to more!