Metanoia

[Keith]

She awakens in the twilight,
face dusted in cold dew. you could swap these two lines around as the opening doesnt grab me but dusted did and she wakes ?
crouched beneath the pallor of an ivory full moon. a full moons ivory pallor ? I like the image either way
and out wet, shivering lips come and out "OF" wet surley?
Righteous Incantations I see what you are doing with the repeat making it like an incantation but it could be stronger if it had some content or specific words that repeat the reader would still understand its an incantation

A string of words entwined into the night air. into or with, still a nice storng image
tears, sweat and spit brewed with stardust, stewing into a frustrated invocation.stardust seems out of place all your other word choices here a well grounded. like the end rhyme picking up the repeat
seeking deliverance through
Righteous Incantations

And when the twilight has melted into rays of shying daylight, lovely image
she shambles into ratty sheets.
even in her dreams she forms the cross; enev in her dreams a cross is formed ? would take care of the she repeat that spoils this line.
sacrificing ragged breaths to bring about curses so forceful her body ceases.
trembling with the force of
Righteous Incantations This whole stanza is my favourite very vivid not sure ceases works but could be me missing something

They say pray without ceasing,
so she cooks with the Spirit.
oil, salt and cow’s tongue
thrown into the fiery depths of a cast iron pan,
while ardent words erupt from her jaw.
and in the heat of her Passion the food is forgotten.
the shrieking of the fire alarm like Church bells.
tendrils of smoke curling off the stove become the incense blessing each
Righteous Incantation

You want to push the Devil out of your Life,
but it seems He’s found purchase in your desperation.
wondering if you have been forsaken, too obvious for me given the veils that come before
the bitterness bubbling underneath your nescience threatens to spill over in contempt.
cast you down from the place you found comfort.
hurl you from your notion of sanity. I'm not sure you need this stanza it feels like the poem is being over done, maybe I just need to read it a few more times but pushing out the essence of the change to the reader could possibly be reduced to one stanza.

Torment her until she becomes fiendish.
swollen with the vitriol of
Righteous Incantations You have until now used the repeat to good effect I think its a bit of a cop out to close with it, you need a better line

The transition comes across really well I have made some comments on my thought about changing the incantation to an actual incantation but..your poem. The title sets it up well and I think you have some stunning images that I very much enjoyed. I found the opening and end a little weak but overall I enjoyed the whole piece. I have added some comments for consideration above. Bets Keith