08-04-2017, 10:31 PM
Hi, Bernie.
I'd take it to my user CP notepad and clean it up, eliminate the repeats and spacing.
I'd also try to save the LOLs for social media sites and private messages, not poetry,
unless writing about something that relates to social networking/computer languaging.
I love your poetry sentiment concerning loving admiration, though. The skin and lips
are a hint this is someone the speaker may know and love. You could actually make
the meat of your poem from these notations, but clean it up by being more creative
and subtle, using adjectives mixed with metaphor.
Best wishes
nibbed
I'd take it to my user CP notepad and clean it up, eliminate the repeats and spacing.
I'd also try to save the LOLs for social media sites and private messages, not poetry,
unless writing about something that relates to social networking/computer languaging.
I love your poetry sentiment concerning loving admiration, though. The skin and lips
are a hint this is someone the speaker may know and love. You could actually make
the meat of your poem from these notations, but clean it up by being more creative
and subtle, using adjectives mixed with metaphor.
Best wishes
nibbed
there's always a better reason to love