Third Edit: Dollar Store Blues

[Todd]

Hi Richard, a few thoughts on the revision.

First Edit:

Dollar Store Blues

Whenever she crosses that threshold,
she starts to feel like she's sleepwalking.--I'd maybe cut the "starts to" and just go with "feels"
In the cleaning aisle,--Possibly end the line with "she swears"
she swears she hears an allegory
about sponges and unwanted messes
until she is distracted by a sale for expired taffy;
so sticky and sweet, yet barely fulfilling a need--perhaps build some parallel structure (so sticky, so sweet, so barely fulfilling a need)
she'd rather deny exists.
She closes her eyes, allowing fluorescent lights--this works maybe move to present tense for allows. 
to bath her like a cold shower.--typo: bathe. I like that the flourescent lights are like a cold shower. It's a surprising detail not what you'd normally associate with light of any type--what you often associate with dampening down arousal.
Eventually, she arrives at her purpose:--Is there a way you could simply blend this setup line into the action?
Is she there to buy beans or soup?
She pretends the decision hasn't already been made--Nice phrasing and like the character relationship touch in the following line and simile.
like her husband's bed.
Placing a finger against her lip,--while we see this gesture in stories usually meaning thoughtful decisiveness people that study touching the lips usually read it as something in the situation is making the person anxious. It's a self-soothing gesture like thumb sucking for an infant. I assume this is more the story meaning.
she smells the soap she bought here a week ago.
Mechanically, she reaches for a can
and it sticks to her palm like a magnet.--like the image
Her hands smell of cheap metal as she approaches to pay.
The cashier smiles androgynously.
The cash register speaks,
the dream ends.

I think you have some good things going on here. Hopefully, the comments will be helpful.

Best,

Todd