Knock, knock.

[71degrees]

My second offering here.  

I know there are few fans of the rhyme here, but I find it fun and challenging.

This ones supposed to be light-hearted.  




Knock, knock.
 
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Why, it’s a beauty of a maiden with perfumed hair.
It’s best we take her in as it’s so cold out there.
Invite her to toast her chilly derriere.
I just might take it from there.
 
Hey there,
Young thing.
I just adore the hand that comes without a ring.
You must be the damsel who's surrendering.
Follow me for dancing where the crickets all sing.
And I just might take it from there.
 
 
I insist you needn’t bother with the tales from your father,
I’m a nice guy.
 
But you are such a cutie that it’s practically my duty,
To beg for a lullaby.
 
What’s up?
Buttercup.
We need to play doctor; you are burning up.
The wisest move is a complete checkup.
Deposit all your troubles in this Dixie cup.
And I just might take it from there.

Not so much the rhymes that bug me but the "gimmick" of the "Knock/Knock" joke. But, ya' know, I'm back reading this for a second day and it's growing on me. I might be tempted to get rid of the knock/knock approach and concentrate more on the fairy tale approach. The combination bugs me b/c you don't have the time to fully develop both.

Just my thoughts....take them or leave them.

I did enjoy the buttercup/Dixie cup images. Cute comes to mind. And that's okay b/c you're not trying to make this poem into something profound.

71degrees