God, not me

[nibbed]

You have a good title, enigmatic. The poem doesn’t do justice to it.

You should really expand on this to assist the writer.  Come on, you know how this works.  Must try harder/ Admin

Hi achebe

When I read it, I understand completely, but you are right, I need to offer more about what God does, how He does it. The problem is, I just don't know, it's a mystery how He works things out, many times years, decades, centuries in advance. How or why He cares for me is the greatest mystery, but He always has. Looking back at my life it's almost as though He cared for me more when I thought I didn't need it. I guess one of His great attributes is the mystery of who He is and how He works. I am doing a second revision today, but I know it will not be as complete as I would like.

Thank you for the compliment on my title, it was accidental wit. Something I used to have a gift at, thought I had lost completely.

-nibbed

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God, not me

When grief
was the overload           maybe leave grieve metaphorical: "when all was overcast"?

in a cloud

He met
lies with lies,
deceit with deceit;             i am wondering who was deceived here, first i thought it was the disappointed subject.. but then the next stanza made me think otherwise.  
which in turn made this stanza into something not directly dealing with what i thought the poem is about.

all the while                        you could leave this line out  i think
He deadened pain                  maybe something like "alleviate" instead of "deadened" (which sounds too drastic, and also a little negative, but if it´s intended like that nevermind my suggestion)
by painting a smile                       i am thinking of a rainbow here.. 
to keep a heart
from crumbling.                     maybe shorten this to "the smile He painted / kept my heart from crumbling"

It's harder to pick bones                   
with God,

so dysfunction
chooses the weakest,
instead.

hi nibbed.. it is like i can´t put it all together, especially the last two stanzas and the one below "in a cloud" .
if i´d concentrate the part that touches me  i´d get:

when all is overcast
the smile He painted in the sky
kept my heart
above the rain.

.. but your title speaks of a different story, so this does not fit your poem, it´s just a fragment i distorted.

Thank you Vagabond,

I know the poem has lots of work to hold up to its title.
I hope I can do it.
I liked your rendition and little ditty

-nibbed

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Hey Janine,
I'm going to suggest something a bit harsh, but bear with me:

God, not me -I quite like the title. It draws me in as a reader.

When grief
was the overload

in a cloud

He met
lies with lies,
deceit with deceit;

all the while -I suggest cutting the first seven lines from the poem. I think the title and most of this stanza says what you need to when it comes to grief and deception.
He deadened pain
by painting a smile
to keep a heart
from crumbling. -A crumbling heart is a almost cliched. May be change this line to one word, "whole".

It's harder to pick bones
with God, -I would suggest cutting this stanza because, again, the title covers this sentiment. 

so dysfunction -Cut the "so".
chooses the weakest, --Add an "always" at the start of this line.
instead. -Cut this line as well.

I think if you follow my suggestions, you'll end up with a much more tighter poem. I hope I wasn't too harsh, but I think you have something here. I apologize if this was too much detail for basic critique.

Cheers,
Richard

Thanks Richard,

There's so much to do.
I like you angle and clever thoughtfulness, too.

-nibbed