Off Boardwalk
#3
(11-20-2017, 07:27 AM)Wjames Wrote:  Cracked soles in wet sand
pebbled with twigs and shards
of wine bottle, wave vomit
moulding on the haggard shore
two hundred meters down
from paradise.
I like the contrast of wealth and poverty, I also like the foam being wave vomit. I wanted to read 'of a wine bottle' or of wine bottles' I also read it with a comma after shore.
Make me think, I enjoyed the read. Thanks Keith

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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Messages In This Thread
Off Boardwalk - by Wjames - 11-20-2017, 07:27 AM
RE: Off Boardwalk - by vagabond - 11-20-2017, 11:35 AM
RE: Off Boardwalk - by Keith - 11-24-2017, 03:50 AM
RE: Off Boardwalk - by RiverNotch - 12-04-2017, 11:41 AM
RE: Off Boardwalk - by nibbed - 12-04-2017, 11:48 AM



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