Why We Should be Glad

[shemthepenman]

hello Nibbed,

just a few comments:

Why We Should be Glad
God isn't a Woman



PMS, —so, i entirely dislike this, seemingly popular, device of making the title of a poem grammatically and necessarily connected to the first line of the poem. it’s just amateurish and lazy. 

and what that sage said
that sold me
her angel food cake
for $4:                  —this detail is really good.

"I have 4 boys,
and they can fight,
almost kill each other,
but the next day
it's a new day
and it was like
it never happened.

My girls, now
that's another thing.
They never forgive
and they don't forget." —i wonder if this wouldn’t be better written in full sentences and not verse. i personally don’t think the enjambments are necessary or justified. 

Don't be askin' me
to pull from this attic
albums showing any
those

gristle wrestling,
envy-gossiped
hag fests, either. —i like these last two stanzas very much. they would work as their own poem. etc. 

despite the premise of this poem seemingly having been beamed here from a 1970s sitcom, i actually really like its use of language and style. if only you could put some of that creative energy into something more contemporary and progressive. maybe your next poem could be about “why we should be glad God’s gender fluid”.