12-01-2017, 02:55 AM
Knot is right, the edits changed the poem quite a bit..
the progress somehow seems to show how hope slowly fades
i think it could be interesting if you´d somehow make one poem of it , starting with the original and deliberately labeling the following stanzas as edit 1 and edit 2.
you could concentrate on the differences and refine them a little more
the poem´s title could be something like "writing a long goodbye" to get the concept across to the reader.
(all this is more a vague idea than an actual suggestion)
for all your versions i think it´s not necessary to name someone whom the light is left on for.. its purpose is sufficiently clear, especially in version 2 with "only the wind knocks" (i´d make that sentence present tense)
the progress somehow seems to show how hope slowly fades
i think it could be interesting if you´d somehow make one poem of it , starting with the original and deliberately labeling the following stanzas as edit 1 and edit 2.
you could concentrate on the differences and refine them a little more
the poem´s title could be something like "writing a long goodbye" to get the concept across to the reader.
(all this is more a vague idea than an actual suggestion)
for all your versions i think it´s not necessary to name someone whom the light is left on for.. its purpose is sufficiently clear, especially in version 2 with "only the wind knocks" (i´d make that sentence present tense)
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