God, not me
#18
While I might just be missing the point of it, I feel that the lines cutting off does not come across as you seem to want it to. It can be effective if the new timings are only slightly unnatural, but it feels a bit odd here. Very nice poem overall.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
God, not me - by nibbed - 11-19-2017, 11:28 AM
RE: God, not me - by alonso ramoran - 11-20-2017, 06:13 AM
RE: God, not me - by nibbed - 11-20-2017, 06:55 AM
RE: God, not me - by Achebe - 11-20-2017, 08:23 AM
RE: God, not me - by nibbed - 11-21-2017, 12:05 AM
RE: God, not me - by vagabond - 11-20-2017, 12:16 PM
RE: God, not me - by Richard - 11-20-2017, 12:50 PM
RE: God, not me - by Achebe - 11-20-2017, 04:03 PM
RE: God, not me - by Rorf Asalis - 12-19-2017, 02:17 AM
RE: God, not me - by rollingbrianjones - 12-19-2017, 01:20 PM
RE: God, not me - by nibbed - 12-19-2017, 02:23 PM
RE: God, not me - by Huckleberry - 12-24-2017, 06:10 PM
RE: God, not me - by nibbed - 01-17-2018, 07:30 AM
RE: God, not me - by tectak - 01-18-2018, 12:04 AM
RE: God, not me - by nibbed - 01-18-2018, 11:50 AM
RE: God, not me - by nibbed - 01-19-2018, 01:20 AM
RE: God, not me - by tectak - 01-19-2018, 08:00 AM
RE: God, not me - by therabbitisme - 01-31-2018, 07:23 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!