02-28-2018, 09:15 AM 
	
	
	
		Hey Alex, This works pretty well for me. "Frolic" kinda kills it for me, but hey, it's only one word. I feel like you could trim some of the small words and have a rather evocative extended faux-haiku 
	
	
	
(02-28-2018, 07:55 AM)alexorande Wrote: found the cottage
evening firmament is
peeled from the dream, releasing
a balmy breeze of afternoon
that children frolic in, chas(e)ing seagulls
Ya that's pretty sparse, take what suits your poem.
Paul

 

