Dreamer’s Eye

[yimbus]

Hey yimbus,
Writing about dreams/dreamers is always an interesting route to take. I do have some thoughts:

Drawing back,
relaxed -Do you think "relaxed" deserves the extra emphasis of being its own line? I would suggest attaching it to the previous line.  
where croaks echo back. -I found this to be a strange image, but that's probably okay when dealing with dreams.

Soft dew curdles in the sun,
firm skin boils the droplets
of water exposed to mud,
washed away by singing rain
felt not as pain -I'm not a fan of random rhymes. Others might disagree though.  
but gentle scraping,
gnawing on
the bark which shields
infant plant warriors
from dastardly breezes.  -I found this stanza a lot to take in. My suggestion would be the add a period somewhere, so the reader has a chance to catch their breath. Overall, I found this stanza to be quite surreal in its description, which works since this is dealing with dreams.

The sky,
neatly tucked above
in folds of white
turning violent gray
before it closes -Maybe drop the first line of this stanza and change the "it" here to "the sky"? Just a thought.
so hazy in the day. -Other than the random rhyme, I like the imagery in this stanza. It describes the end of the day in a dreamy way.

Fall back to bed,
the dream has ended.
The storm has passed -I feel like you don't need this and the previous line. They both imply the same thing, so I would use just one. My suggestion would be to the cut "the dream has ended" since it's close to a cliche.
and is now beginning.
Living life at night,
in the eye of the storm. -Again, I feel like these last two lines repeat what was already said. I suggest rewriting this last stanza to read:
     Fall back to bed,
     living life at night,
     in the eye of the storm.

I think you have some good dream related images in this poem, and I look forward to seeing where you take it from here.

Cheers,
Richard

Thanks for the feedback. Yes, I generally was going for some surreal imagery and in my opinion, the random rhymes mostly served to help the flow of the poem a bit although I can see them being distractive or unnecessary. I definitely agree the second stanza may have gone on a bit too long, might try to separate it after the rain line. The ending was originally separate and just different thoughts about what it should be but I think I may have mixed them together, so I can see the repetitiveness. Agree with most of your critiques, appreciate it and will try to work them in.