Edit 3: On Actias

[Knot]

Hi Alex.

On Actias Somnium
Doesn't this suggest that
this is the moth's dream?

I found your wings,
greener than the faraway willow tree
break after wings (has a element of triumph)
in spring, adorned
with tips as lissome as a sundown
(interesting use of lissome)
shaft of light,
only more evasive of a starlit maw.
(don't really follow this)
I glow alike
and you come to me.

I think it works really well up to this point
('evasive' notwithstanding), but, for me, it
becomes rather incoherent going forwards
(the variation in tenses don't help).

I'd suggest ending with;
I glow alike
and you come to me.
Stroke my skin, turning
into a star of light and dust.


Best, Knot