04-08-2018, 04:10 AM
Hi Alex,
L4 is certainly more clear. I'm not sure how I feel about "that help you" but I don't want to be overly picky at this time. Maybe I just need to get used to the change.
The title though, for me, is not better. Who dreams of moths? Does the light? But this story is about the light wanting (but unable) to protect this beautiful moth from harm. A title referring to the moth itself or of the light's thoughts about the moth would suit it better. I don't want to write any titles for you of course. Think about what this image is all about. Maybe the image I have is too subjective; I don't see much about dreaming in this poem, but a tragic little event that takes place in the night.
L4 is certainly more clear. I'm not sure how I feel about "that help you" but I don't want to be overly picky at this time. Maybe I just need to get used to the change.
The title though, for me, is not better. Who dreams of moths? Does the light? But this story is about the light wanting (but unable) to protect this beautiful moth from harm. A title referring to the moth itself or of the light's thoughts about the moth would suit it better. I don't want to write any titles for you of course. Think about what this image is all about. Maybe the image I have is too subjective; I don't see much about dreaming in this poem, but a tragic little event that takes place in the night.
"The best way out is always through."-Robert Frost
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