06-25-2018, 11:21 PM
i much like the concept of this. money is such a human thing. a few thoughts--
--sanguine brown does not seem different from brown
--'but say it is left to age' is redundant, you said that a few lines ago?
--parallellism issue: you use direct numbers at first (10 euro note) and later switch to the written versions (ten euro note)
--i think the line 'nature is beautiful' is unnecessary
--the third stanza could be pared down slightly, but up to you
--sanguine brown does not seem different from brown
--'but say it is left to age' is redundant, you said that a few lines ago?
--parallellism issue: you use direct numbers at first (10 euro note) and later switch to the written versions (ten euro note)
--i think the line 'nature is beautiful' is unnecessary
--the third stanza could be pared down slightly, but up to you