First Edit: Sailing

[alonso ramoran]

Off into the summer day,
where the breeze will blow
our pallet ship, a blanket
knotted on its upright stick,
across the stream of time.

Off into the summer day
where the breeze will carry
our ship of a pallet with a
blanket tied around an upright stick,
across the stream of time.

This is one of my older poems when I first started writing. Not my best work but it caught my eye. Feel free to comment.