How I Miss You
#5
(09-28-2018, 12:38 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  How I Miss You

The metaphors get mangled 
into cliche 
and all that flooding and fire 
wouldn't touch you anyway.

So no, it won't be some sad poem
that solves you.

It won't be me reducing you
to similes of oxygen 
or nicotine 
or Dad.

It won't be me endlessly pretending
you could live on paper.
i´d like to propose some changes for rhythm... not that it matters a lot.
"and all that fire and flooding"
"that could solve you"
"it won´t be me pretending endlessly
you´d live on paper"

(to me) the third stanza is a very inventive way to say "you´re the air that i breathe, you´re my drug, and the person i always needed (even it that admits to things missed and lost in the past)".
...
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Messages In This Thread
How I Miss You - by Tiger the Lion - 09-28-2018, 12:38 PM
RE: How I Miss You - by billy - 09-28-2018, 01:42 PM
RE: How I Miss You - by Tiger the Lion - 10-17-2018, 11:57 AM
RE: How I Miss You - by Keith - 10-10-2018, 02:15 AM
RE: How I Miss You - by vagabond - 11-14-2018, 08:23 PM
RE: How I Miss You - by pigpoem - 12-12-2018, 08:57 AM
RE: How I Miss You - by allijane - 01-03-2019, 08:25 AM
RE: How I Miss You - by Seraphim - 07-02-2019, 09:37 AM



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