03-11-2019, 12:27 PM
It took me until the third read to realize what you've done here with the initial letters of each word, which I really enjoy.
It creates a bit of a conundrum for me though... as others' comments have suggested, the choice of words feels forced in places, but their otherwise excellent suggestions don't fit the rule.
Flow like open-window flames
licking on white fingertips, lit
opaque. Whirling fire lurches onward
without fear, leading old woods ---I agree with busker about leading...from. Perhaps "long overdue winds should follow "without fear"
from long overdue winds. and this line could be changed to complete than thought.
Ring in new goals rising. ---this line doesn't make much sense to me
Idle nimbuses gather rain intermittently. ---not loving the word intermittently here
Next-generation roots inch nearer ---nearer, followed by greener, is jarring to my tongue. maybe just "near?"
greener ranges, indigenous noble gods
righteously ignited, naked, growing. ---Perhaps just "grow"
It creates a bit of a conundrum for me though... as others' comments have suggested, the choice of words feels forced in places, but their otherwise excellent suggestions don't fit the rule.
Flow like open-window flames
licking on white fingertips, lit
opaque. Whirling fire lurches onward
without fear, leading old woods ---I agree with busker about leading...from. Perhaps "long overdue winds should follow "without fear"
from long overdue winds. and this line could be changed to complete than thought.
Ring in new goals rising. ---this line doesn't make much sense to me
Idle nimbuses gather rain intermittently. ---not loving the word intermittently here
Next-generation roots inch nearer ---nearer, followed by greener, is jarring to my tongue. maybe just "near?"
greener ranges, indigenous noble gods
righteously ignited, naked, growing. ---Perhaps just "grow"