Old Flame - edit 1 (Formerly Faint Hope)

[Knot]

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Hi WJames,

better for the revision and title change, I think, (though re-reading made me wonder about 'Leftovers').

Two weakness, for me: the repetition of 'something' in S2 (maybe replace the first with 'it's'?). And the
over use of 'the'. (Any better phrasing for 'taste dulled'?)

Just a thought

one final slice of pie
back of your fridge
beside [that] jar of pickles
[bought] the week you moved in.

crust may be soggy,
taste dulled, but it's nice
to know [it's still] there
if you feel like something sweet.


Best, Knot


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