01-24-2020, 02:30 AM
Hey WJ-
I haven't been here in a while but came in and stumbled upon this poem. It immediately reminded me of the WCWilliams poem "This Is Just To Say."
I appreciate ambiguous poems, and this poem conveys (to me) the way our relationships can be subtly revealed by the contents of our refrigerators.
Though this appears to be your final edit, I humbly suggest that a single slice of pickle may better emphasize the tension between sweet/pie and sour/pickle.
Also, I was a bit confused by "your fridge" / "you moved in", when it makes mores sense to be "the fridge", "my fridge", or "our fridge" (unless there are two separate fridges). Either that, or "I moved in."
I know it's late in the game- just some of my thoughts.
... Mark
I haven't been here in a while but came in and stumbled upon this poem. It immediately reminded me of the WCWilliams poem "This Is Just To Say."
I appreciate ambiguous poems, and this poem conveys (to me) the way our relationships can be subtly revealed by the contents of our refrigerators.
Though this appears to be your final edit, I humbly suggest that a single slice of pickle may better emphasize the tension between sweet/pie and sour/pickle.
Also, I was a bit confused by "your fridge" / "you moved in", when it makes mores sense to be "the fridge", "my fridge", or "our fridge" (unless there are two separate fridges). Either that, or "I moved in."
I know it's late in the game- just some of my thoughts.
... Mark