MONEY WORRIES

[Torkelburger]

How can I SAVE myself
If I've already found myself lost

I'm RICH for your touch
In PROFIT of pain but love is at a LOSS

POOR old me

So hard to make a change
With just CHANGE in my pocket ...

With an old family photo
In a dusty old WALLET ...



@wordsfrom1985
David Smith

Hi, it doesn't seem as if you are still around, but if you ever come back and read this--I think your poem might be strengthened with a bit more concrete imagery, instead of just "telling" about your situation in the abstract.  Especially since you are going for pathos.  Maybe still find a way of using words dealing with money.  But the reader doesn't really feel anything emotionally by reading this as it is.  I know in my own life, one image that signifies my lost love, is the ever-present imprint left behind on my ring finger of where my wedding ring used to be when I was married.  The mark won't go away and it is very painful to look at.