04-25-2021, 08:42 AM
I've done an edit on this, adding a stanza and using basically all of your suggestions, they were very helpful, thank you, Knot!
I really like the structural change you made, I don't usually use devices like that, but I think it's interesting.
I'm not 100 % sure of the ending, I have it ending with a comma because I like that it implies the narrators thoughts continue from there, but I'm not sure if that really translates it may be better with a period, or ending with no punctuation at all.
Would appreciate anyone's thoughts on that, or anything else about the poem.
I really like the structural change you made, I don't usually use devices like that, but I think it's interesting.
I'm not 100 % sure of the ending, I have it ending with a comma because I like that it implies the narrators thoughts continue from there, but I'm not sure if that really translates it may be better with a period, or ending with no punctuation at all.
Would appreciate anyone's thoughts on that, or anything else about the poem.