06-25-2021, 08:33 AM
I'm going to act the contrarian here. I don't have a problem with what I guess are labelled sentence fragments? Many writers use them and I think they are sometimes effective in this poem, especially at beginning. I guess the question is, are they deliberate?
As to content, the writer seems to find dreams both pleasure and pain, and come down on the side of being "woke". That's my interpretation, but I'm a poor intrpreter at best.
I've added some notes that may repeat Mark:
Startled woke, the state I'm in.
From a dream, a reminder.
That mind, experience, and illusion
can be synonymous. really like beginning
These days, a dull scape. can really feel this line
Wandering nightly
in subconscious scenes, don't need comma
I usually forget.
Though when I arose tonight
from being kissed and felt, don't need comma
by invisible voids representing
the first dream I can recall
since my last nightmare.
Control is lost in these spaces.
Dreams, the only safe place
I can be insane without consequences.
Nightmares, in my case,
all have the same theme.
A familiar perspective
of distant madness.
Losing the reins, don't need comma
on a carriage
driven by adrenaline.
I'd rather forget my dreams.
Awoke, the fate I'm living
is far from lucidity. great line!
Solidified, a relationship with my mind.
Empathy, trust, grace is given.
Move on from this nightmare I must.
One can not tumble,
move forward at all costs.
As to content, the writer seems to find dreams both pleasure and pain, and come down on the side of being "woke". That's my interpretation, but I'm a poor intrpreter at best.
I've added some notes that may repeat Mark:
Startled woke, the state I'm in.
From a dream, a reminder.
That mind, experience, and illusion
can be synonymous. really like beginning
These days, a dull scape. can really feel this line
Wandering nightly
in subconscious scenes, don't need comma
I usually forget.
Though when I arose tonight
from being kissed and felt, don't need comma
by invisible voids representing
the first dream I can recall
since my last nightmare.
Control is lost in these spaces.
Dreams, the only safe place
I can be insane without consequences.
Nightmares, in my case,
all have the same theme.
A familiar perspective
of distant madness.
Losing the reins, don't need comma
on a carriage
driven by adrenaline.
I'd rather forget my dreams.
Awoke, the fate I'm living
is far from lucidity. great line!
Solidified, a relationship with my mind.
Empathy, trust, grace is given.
Move on from this nightmare I must.
One can not tumble,
move forward at all costs.