09-19-2021, 09:00 PM
Me again. It's a more impressive design, but it does make the reader work harder to leap the spatial gap and connect the reading. It also invites the reader to read around the edges which you may or may not have intended. Other than that, I don't think it detracts from the poetry itself. I did prefer the ending spaced out rather than a solid trunk as it appears now. Lessens the feeling of freedom contained in those final lines.
Are you wanting the reader to have a tree in mind? The earlier desgn was interesting in that it could be a tree, or a mushroom cloud, or something else. This one has its own charm, with the white space forming a second image inside the word image.
I guess I prefer the previous version, simply because it's easier to read and the words are what count in the end.
Are you wanting the reader to have a tree in mind? The earlier desgn was interesting in that it could be a tree, or a mushroom cloud, or something else. This one has its own charm, with the white space forming a second image inside the word image.
I guess I prefer the previous version, simply because it's easier to read and the words are what count in the end.