01-18-2023, 03:57 AM
My only critique here:
"It's my choice to rest, I could stay awake
if I wanted to. Yet, I'm tired, and there is <---------I don't think the common after Yet is necessary
no use in fighting anymore"
so instead:
"if I wanted to. Yet I'm tired, and there is"
The commas were creating a rhythm, and it feels awkward to have that rhythm changed by a "non-sequitur" comma.
"It's my choice to rest, I could stay awake
if I wanted to. Yet, I'm tired, and there is <---------I don't think the common after Yet is necessary
no use in fighting anymore"
so instead:
"if I wanted to. Yet I'm tired, and there is"
The commas were creating a rhythm, and it feels awkward to have that rhythm changed by a "non-sequitur" comma.
