Raging in my mind
#3
(02-25-2023, 07:02 AM)TranquillityBase Wrote:  
(02-25-2023, 05:33 AM)brynmawr1 Wrote:  Outside

An anxious wind blows
unsure in its direction
certain of its fury.
I have the urge to replace unsure with uncertain, how do you feel about that repetition?
Too many syllables.  Trying to write a haiku.  How do you feel about the 'in' rather that 'of'?  Also thought of changing the title to "In My Head" or "Through the Trees" or "Over the Pond".  Thanks for reading and commenting.
Bryn
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Messages In This Thread
Raging in my mind - by brynmawr1 - 02-25-2023, 05:33 AM
RE: Outside - by TranquillityBase - 02-25-2023, 07:02 AM
RE: Outside - by brynmawr1 - 02-26-2023, 12:47 PM
RE: Outside - by Mark A Becker - 02-27-2023, 07:48 AM
RE: Outside - by brynmawr1 - 02-27-2023, 09:05 AM
RE: In My Mind(edit) - by Mark A Becker - 02-28-2023, 02:07 AM
RE: In My Mind(edit) - by brynmawr1 - 03-01-2023, 05:00 AM
RE: In My Mind(edit2) - by TranquillityBase - 03-01-2023, 05:14 AM
RE: In My Mind(edit2) - by Mark A Becker - 03-02-2023, 02:10 AM
RE: In My Mind(edit2) - by brynmawr1 - 03-02-2023, 05:14 AM
RE: In My Mind(edit2) - by Mark A Becker - 03-02-2023, 05:51 AM
RE: In My Mind(edit2) - by brynmawr1 - 03-02-2023, 06:05 AM
RE: In My Mind(edit2) - by Mark A Becker - 03-02-2023, 07:12 AM
RE: In My Mind(edit2) - by brynmawr1 - 03-02-2023, 07:41 AM



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