How might I serve you? (new title)

[brynmawr1]

I guess it is supposed to be a little unsettling, cannibalism and all.  It's a work in progress.  Again, thanks for reading and commenting.
Bryn

Funny I didn't leap to cannibalism.  I saw it as more erotic.  I'm an oddball.

Well, it is implied and largely metaphorical.  But the lines are blurry.  To be honest, I am still a little undecided myself where it is going.  Does anything in the middle stanzas resonate?  I anticipated that a lot will need to be cut but want input on what adds to the narrative.
thanks,
bryn

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For me to view something as 'unsettling' it needs to be down to the bone, meaning to get all the extraneous stuff out of the way so as not to dilute.

In this vein, I would edit out ALL phrases and/or words such as "I am afraid" or "unsatisfied" b/c they are telling me what I should be feeling. There are others (many) and you say this is raw so I will refrain from too much 'rewriting'....it's just how I feel. Not as a writer, but as a reader. 

The topic itself doesn't bother me, but for it to work to try and unsettle me, the subtleness should descend like a light mist toward that realization.

Hey 71,

Thanks for helping me hone my message.  I agree needs to be whittled, so to speak.
bryn