Forces of Nature-Edit

[TranquillityBase]

Thank you for the feedback! Can I ask what makes it across that way? What would make it a poem?

I'm just one reader.  The last three lines seemed, to me, to be fragments of something bigger.  But that's just my response to what you wrote.  It's a poem when you say so.  

I got the impression you were still working on it.  So I was pointing out the parts that seemed to me the best lines and images.

So, I'm not saying it's not a poem, just that it didn't seem finished.  In what you posted, the first section (the rough draft I think you called it)) seemed more complete and finished.