Ironic Haiku
#7
(05-30-2023, 12:48 AM)Quixilated Wrote:  You could remove ‘an’ if you want to keep orange.  The sun does seem to enjoy trying on every shade from buttercup yellow to lava red, especially if you live in an area where the sky is affected by distant wildfire smoke.  My sun has been a very odd shade of reddish orange recently.  It wouldn’t seem weird at sunset surrounded by sunset sky, but it was a lava-red sun in the middle of a blue sky afternoon.  Anyway, ‘orange’ works for me, and ‘an’ doesn’t seem too vital if you want to extricate a syllable.
Thanks Quix.  Took your advice and TqB's and made some changes.  Maybe I'm done?
Bryn

(05-17-2023, 11:34 AM)Semicircle Wrote:  
(05-17-2023, 10:11 AM)brynmawr1 Wrote:  A blue flower's bloom   ..Cut the apostrophe
basks in the orange summer sun   ..We all know which sun it is.
waiting for rainfall.    
Clever haiku. 

It is subtle enough to not be ironic in the title.
Hi SC,
Good tips, especially the first line.  Hope the end result works.
Take care,
Bryn
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Messages In This Thread
Ironic Haiku - by brynmawr1 - 05-17-2023, 10:11 AM
RE: Ironic Haiku - by Semicircle - 05-17-2023, 11:34 AM
RE: Ironic Haiku - by TranquillityBase - 05-17-2023, 10:02 PM
RE: Ironic Haiku - by Valerie Please - 05-18-2023, 08:53 AM
RE: Ironic Haiku - by brynmawr1 - 05-29-2023, 10:36 PM
RE: Ironic Haiku - by Quixilated - 05-30-2023, 12:48 AM
RE: Ironic Haiku - by brynmawr1 - 05-30-2023, 11:13 AM
RE: Ironic Haiku - by Lynn Mary - 04-11-2025, 07:08 AM



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